Petricia, kindly corrected me on certain aspect about the call today, most of them has got some point and follow the rules of befrienders i.e. not giving advice for which i sounded like giving advice and problem solving oriented. however i would say, to certain caller, this kinda of approach, though still be menimized, is essetial, especially when caller is seeking for acknowledgement, by answering yes will give them temporary pleasure, but is not long term solution to them;
i have learn some new approach:
by saying this things i might do harm than good
ohh instead of yes...
allow them to talk, instead of prompting them into yours thoughts
they are to ventilate, we are to give emotional support.
but somehow i feel, to lead them into problem solving mode, let them have a clearer picture of everything, so they have hope, not only emotional support, i think only that is great, but insufficient, the solution provided would be accepted for open minded individual, since my philosoiphy is, it is always worth a try than know nothing to do.
it gives hope, and motivation, enlighten, and allow people to learn from trial and error.
but i know, in order to be in this organization, we need to follow it's rule, in the future i will still try but minimize the act of propting allowing caller to have better , clearer picture, also more focus to aware the problem.
there is judgemental issue here.
i shouldn't be a judge, i am a friend, walking side by side, to listen, to care, to empathy with the caller; amixtures of the good qualities of the discussion above will lead to a better friend an better befriender.
as a befriener, i need to forget my self as a problem solver;
i am to be a friend.